Summer Rain

The past few weeks and even months have been filled with so much change.  All aspects of my life have been impacted, changed, gifted, blessed and enlightened by so many things.  Life, Love, Family, Work – 2012 has been one crazy whirlwind journey.

I find myself, on my last day of work – on Christmas eve, working from home – and it just so happens that after days of sunshine bliss in Cape Town, the weather has cooled down with a bit of summer rain outside.  The perfect day to be working from home in the middle of December.  This gives me time to reflect on all things past and also switch down a gear after a blissful weekend.

Oh – and congrats to everyone reading this…we survived the End of the World ;) Friday we were celebrating like it’s our last day on earth.  Saturday we were celebrating for surviving the last day on earth ;)  And Sunday – well Sunday we were just grateful we had survived all the celebrations.  J

Summer in Cape Town has arrived.  The streets are flowing, beaches packed, nightlife throbbing – what a blessing to be a living life right now.

I wish you all a blessed festive season and abundant joy in the New Year.  Make happiness your home and open up your hearts.

Till next year…

XXX

August Rush

Changing jobs into a different industry while still being able to draw from your past experience is delightful yet at the same time absolutely petrifying.   I cannot begin to describe the feelings of inappropriateness that goes along with it.  But also…I cannot deny the vast amount of learning and growth that happens as well. 

Someone introduced me to a thought last week that changed my outlook on my experience completely…the question posed was “What are you doing to feel uncomfortable?”  My first response….what sane person would actually strive to be uncomfortable?  Who wants to have that jittery sense of the unknown lurking around every corner?  What madness is this?

When I thought about this a bit more, I realized what it was all about.  You see, the human mind is an intricate thing.  In order for it to grow, it needs to be stimulated.  We see it from a young age, giving kids things to play with...their young minds figure things out so quickly, unafraid to try something new.  Yet, as we get older, we become afraid, scared to take chances, to try new things, to be bold.  Our minds slow, we become comfortable with our surroundings, life is chilled, bru. 

I’ve been there, thinking to myself why should I have this constant rush of life around me, why should life be lived on your toes, why can’t I just be comfortable.

 

Because my dear friends, learning cannot occur without reflection.  Reflection cannot take place if you never put yourself in a situation where your experiences can be called upon to save the day.  Without these stimuli, the mind shrivels, without action, it is merely words.  People are so much more capable than what they give themselves credit for.  The only way to figure this out is to get out there, make a change and jump.

I don’t think anybody has ever been comfortable jumping off a bridge to do a bungee-dive, but I don’t think I have ever seen someone come off one without a smile on their face.

Till next time
X

Stomping in the rain

Blog entries seem to go hand in hand with procrastinating on writing papers, doing assignments and studying for exams.  Yes…I have another 6000 word essay due on Monday and here I am...practising my writing skills on a blog entry.
 
The month is just past its half-way mark and I’ve achieved, realized and battled through so many things over the last 19 days.  Firstly, I have successfully quit smoking for a whole year this month.  Yay!!  But I’ve also been battling with the flu for exactly 19 days as well, all while starting a brand new job, with a crazy 2 week ramp up after which I need to take over and run a large 100 vendor project for a very well-known retail company in South Africa.    And just for good measure…I’ve been hit down countless times during this quest with vertigo and migraines.  For those who don’t know, vertigo is a sensation that everything around you is spinning or moving, which in my case is caused by a problem in the inner ear.  So it was fairly distracting (to say the least) to be interacting in deep conversation regarding Intellectual Property and suddenly finding myself leaning heavily to the side trying to stop the room and people from spinning around me.  I can only imagine what is must have looked like to the person I was speaking to!

Nonetheless and besides the tribulations, I think my brain has doubled in size within the last two weeks.  A new industry, a new way of thinking, a new set of business problems to solve…I’m in my element!! 

With a hefty path in front of me…with more assignments, presentations and even further ramping up, all I can say is…bring it!!  I’m looking forward to rewarding myself J

Pandora's Box

Wow!  July has almost come and gone.  My last month at my current employer is very quickly coming to an end.  The nerves have settled and I’m feeling much more relaxed than my last post.  During the weekend that past though, there was a fleeting moment of vulnerability in which all the uncertainties of venturing into a new world flooded my peripheral vision nearly clouding my judgement and rendering me a messy ball of doubt.  Operative words in that sentence being “Fleeting” and “Nearly”.  I had part of my network with me and I thanked the Lord for me being so in luck.

I also completed my second week of block studies at UCT…what a mind opener!  Who thought debating for and against method-ism or whether evidence exists to prove that methodology contributes to project success could be so fun yet utterly nerve wrecking at the same time.  Here I thought it was all about waterfalls and agility….pffft.

So as things are starting to round off – man, what energy has gone into getting my life back to a manageable affair, I’m left with a heart that jumps at the thought of my new adventure awaiting me, a heart that weeps for the quick coffee breakouts in a “chat room” with my girls, a heart that is strong and ready for all things new and confounded, but most of all, I’m left with a mind that has gained wisdom and knowledge, stepping forward unlocking itself even further.

What a great feeling!!  I wish it for you all!

XXX

Steps to Resignation

How does one resign?  I’m not talking about the physical and administrative part of it.  I’m talking about how one deals with all the emotions, uncertainty, angst and questioning that turns your stomach into one big ball of….well, I’m not quite sure what of…what I do know is that it’s not a very settling feeling.

Today I resigned my position and it has been one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make in my life.  The last 2 weeks have been a complete whirlwind of negotiations, meetings, guilt, elation and much more praying than usual.

I’ve decided to write this entry to calm myself.  I have a paper due in a week and yes, I’ve procrastinated a bit, but now is not the time for unsettling feelings on the tummy. 

So, I’ll start with yesterday – the day after all negotiations were done, the day all questions needed to be answered, the day I finally signed the offer of employment.  WOW!  Yes – it was a tight fit…but to be honest, I don’t think having more time would have made the process easier.  In fact, I think it would have made it worse.  Not dragging out the feeling on your tummy – that is for sure STEP ONE.

It’s a tricky business wanting to share your concerns with people who could possibly give you great insight.  They either work with you (and you wouldn’t want to share this type of info with too many people in your current surroundings) or they would be able to give you emotional advice, but not really that needed career advice.  So choosing the people you share the entire process with is crucial – STEP TWO.

I decided to choose 3 people to help me make the decision.  One was not too long ago in a similar position, another I see as a bit of a mentor and another for emotional support.  All three however, work in my industry and that for sure makes it easier to voice concerns with.

So, as the time came closer to send the signed document to the director of my future place of employment, that unsettling feeling crept up on me again.  Messages were sent, texts were exchanged and phone calls were made.  My network pulled through for me and once the document was in my sent items….the feeling disappeared.

Off I went home with a calm feeling thinking that all was done and dusted with the angst. 

BOOM!  I’m not sure what a panic attack feels like, but I’m pretty sure I had one last night.  Pounding heart, difficulty breathing, a feeling of impending doom.  Yep, all of the above…at once!  Am I making a mistake, will I be able to do this, am I doing the right thing, am I fooling myself….all those questions that make you doubt yourself, throwing you off balance.  STEP THREE - Do not underestimate the emotional process.

So I called the one person, who is close to me, but who can be objective, rational and to the point.  My sister.  Candy – Thank You!  There were tears, there was laughter and finally calm.

This morning, I walked into the office relaxed and happy.  Handed my letter of resignation to my manager and guess what, the feeling in my tummy was still gone.  The day was great, gym did me good and some sushi was perfect.

But as I parked in front of my apartment tonight, that niggling feeling in my tummy crept back.  A tinge of “Did I do the right thing”.  For now, I’ll breathe into that feeling, trusting in the fact that my decision was not taken frivolously.  So this brings me to STEP FOUR - be kind to yourself, trust your own judgement and remind yourself of the reasons for your choices made.

Let me get cracking!

Till next time

X

How to motivate yourself

To study or not to study…that is the question of the day.  Of course I know the answer to this question is definitely TO study as I have an exam coming up within a week.  But as the plight of the student goes, procrastination is the name of the game.  And I am playing that game very well today.  So well in fact, that here I am writing an entry to my blog.

I might as well kill two birds with one stone, and make the writing of this blog entry work to my advantage – hence the title, ”How to motivate yourself".  In my case motivating to study for an exam.

Now as you may know, this studying process (plus procrastination) and search for motivation included googling a few things.  This incorporated researching the pros and cons of using Windows or Linux as an operating system, the lyrics to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs Dragon Queen, apartment hunting on Gumtree and then a tiny bit of multi-user vs. single user OS’s.  And then - lo and behold, I came across a quote by Andrew Carnegie.

 “People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents.” 

Wow!  This made me realize the entire reason behind doing this program in the first place.  To be able to make the reach for my dreams easier, to be able to expand and open my thoughts to what the world has to offer!!  To research open source vs. proprietary software solutions is not only about trying to formulate an opinion to satisfy my lecturer but to understand all the different technologies that are available out there.  That the Information System world is not only about prepackaged, one deal fits all solutions, but that an incredibly vast eco system exists out there for software solutions!  
Just this week it was announced that South Africa and Australia will be sharing the hosting of the SKA (Square Kilometer Array)!  Do you have any idea how much technology and deciding between Linux and Windows that involves?  I am in an industry that runs the growth of the planet.  No matter which way you look at it – all initiatives need IT and IS to bring it all together.  To have the opportunity to learn about these technologies and actually have and give an opinion on which one would be best in any situation….that sounds pretty darn fantastic to me.

And as life has it….my motivation has just presented itself.  Remove the fog and clarify your mind.  Remind yourself of your dreams and remember the bigger picture and the reasons for being on your path…let me get to it!

Have a fantastic day!!

xxx

Gmail vs Outlook

So yesterday myself and fellow colleagues got an absolutely horrific email from our managing..uhmm…manager;  declaring that our Outlook email accounts will no longer be allowed to sync to ANY mobile device but BlackBerry.  Shock Shock, Horror, Horror!

For those who know me, I have never been a BlackBerry fan.  I have never quite had a good reason to jump on that bandwagon and have always found myself leaning toward the unusual like Sony Ericsson and now, my Samsung Galaxy Note running on Android.

Also, allow me to introduce you to the sometimes meticulously planned, organized and efficient version of myself who loves to plot everything in my Outlook calendar.  Of course this allows me to sync it to my mobile device and merrily not have to wonder about what was on my latest shopping list (forgotten on my desk) when I find myself finishing up a meeting early and having some time to do said shopping.

You can understand the upset state I was in when I found out I can no longer do this!  But, where there is a will, there is a way.

Task number one on my To-Do list for today – reschedule my entire life over to my Gmail account.  Note – no syncing is allowed from Outlook to Gmail so this will be a manual entry for entry rescheduling which inevitably will leave me not getting a stitch of work done today.  But as they say…such is life.  Should my managing…uhmm…manager be reading this by any chance, I of course need to do this rescheduling in order for me to be more productive in the long run and manage my time effectively :)

So here I find myself….working from home on a stormy and chilly Cape Town morning, warm hoodie, thick socks, steaming mug of coffee, under a wool blanket with the rain pouring outside; organizing my life over to Gmail.

Make your day great! J

X