Steps to Resignation

How does one resign?  I’m not talking about the physical and administrative part of it.  I’m talking about how one deals with all the emotions, uncertainty, angst and questioning that turns your stomach into one big ball of….well, I’m not quite sure what of…what I do know is that it’s not a very settling feeling.

Today I resigned my position and it has been one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make in my life.  The last 2 weeks have been a complete whirlwind of negotiations, meetings, guilt, elation and much more praying than usual.

I’ve decided to write this entry to calm myself.  I have a paper due in a week and yes, I’ve procrastinated a bit, but now is not the time for unsettling feelings on the tummy. 

So, I’ll start with yesterday – the day after all negotiations were done, the day all questions needed to be answered, the day I finally signed the offer of employment.  WOW!  Yes – it was a tight fit…but to be honest, I don’t think having more time would have made the process easier.  In fact, I think it would have made it worse.  Not dragging out the feeling on your tummy – that is for sure STEP ONE.

It’s a tricky business wanting to share your concerns with people who could possibly give you great insight.  They either work with you (and you wouldn’t want to share this type of info with too many people in your current surroundings) or they would be able to give you emotional advice, but not really that needed career advice.  So choosing the people you share the entire process with is crucial – STEP TWO.

I decided to choose 3 people to help me make the decision.  One was not too long ago in a similar position, another I see as a bit of a mentor and another for emotional support.  All three however, work in my industry and that for sure makes it easier to voice concerns with.

So, as the time came closer to send the signed document to the director of my future place of employment, that unsettling feeling crept up on me again.  Messages were sent, texts were exchanged and phone calls were made.  My network pulled through for me and once the document was in my sent items….the feeling disappeared.

Off I went home with a calm feeling thinking that all was done and dusted with the angst. 

BOOM!  I’m not sure what a panic attack feels like, but I’m pretty sure I had one last night.  Pounding heart, difficulty breathing, a feeling of impending doom.  Yep, all of the above…at once!  Am I making a mistake, will I be able to do this, am I doing the right thing, am I fooling myself….all those questions that make you doubt yourself, throwing you off balance.  STEP THREE - Do not underestimate the emotional process.

So I called the one person, who is close to me, but who can be objective, rational and to the point.  My sister.  Candy – Thank You!  There were tears, there was laughter and finally calm.

This morning, I walked into the office relaxed and happy.  Handed my letter of resignation to my manager and guess what, the feeling in my tummy was still gone.  The day was great, gym did me good and some sushi was perfect.

But as I parked in front of my apartment tonight, that niggling feeling in my tummy crept back.  A tinge of “Did I do the right thing”.  For now, I’ll breathe into that feeling, trusting in the fact that my decision was not taken frivolously.  So this brings me to STEP FOUR - be kind to yourself, trust your own judgement and remind yourself of the reasons for your choices made.

Let me get cracking!

Till next time

X